The Traits You Admire in Others Are Already Within You
Have you heard the expression, “When you judge another negatively, you are judging yourself in the same way"? People often compare themselves to others. The comparison often starts as "They are better than me" or "I am less than them." I call this the pedestal mechanism, which I addressed in a previous blog dated April 20, 2024. We put someone on a pedestal and judge ourselves as inferior. Our ego is running the show. What is really happening is that we see in the other person something we know to be true for ourselves. We compare and undervalue our state of being, creating the inferior thoughts that lead to feelings of inferiority.
Earlier this year, I was presented with an opportunity—actually, I created it—where I joined an amazing team of transformational instructors. One of the reasons I joined was to get what they had. I am thinking of three of these instructors. The first was always happy. My thought was that by joining the team, I would find happiness. The second was amazingly curious, exhibiting a childlike wonderment. If I joined the team, her curiosity would become my curiosity. The third instructor shined Love and gratitude. Again, it was something I wanted for my life. I thought joining the team would bring happiness, curiosity, Love, and gratitude. Wow, how sweet that would be.
So, I found myself on the team with another newcomer. On my first assignment, I realized that the three instructors embodied their ways of being, not because they joined the team previously, but rather because of their states of being, which I noticed were who they were regardless of whether they were on the team or not. They brought happiness, curiosity, Love, and gratitude to the table because that is who they are.
After realizing the neural machinery at play—neuroscientists call this metacognition—I recognized these admirable traits because that is who I am: happy, curious, Loving, and grateful. There was nothing to get. It was already in me.
Ever since this realization, my life has altered in amazing ways. Miracles are finding me every day. Here’s my takeaway:
  • Qualities I see in others are also my embodiment because I am familiar with and recognize them.
  • Self-awareness—metacognition—is key to eliminating pedestals.
  • There are no good or bad traits. There are only traits.
  • The neuroplastic nature of our brains gives us the ability to evolve.
  • We can all evolve.
I am interested in human potential and evolution, and I enjoy the conversation. Please share your thoughts in the comments below, and if you feel called to see how you can contribute to your own evolution, contact me directly.


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