Why is Change So Hard?
Before we delve into why change is so hard, let’s examine personality or state of being. Your personality is made of how you think… how you act… and how you feel, which is your state of being. Your state of being can fluctuate based on the circumstances you face and the environments you interact with. You could have a state of being at work and a different state of being at home.
For this discussion, we are looking at state of being as the default way that you interact with others and yourself. For example, if your default way of thinking is uplifting and positive you will act in uplifting ways as you interact with others and the circumstances in your life. If your default way of thinking is doom and gloom or doubt you will act accordingly. In either example, how you feel inside will dovetail with how you think and act. So, the uplifting thinking and acting person could feel excitement, happiness, and a joy-filled heart, while the doom and gloomer will feel fearful, cautious, resigned, maybe depressed.
Next, let’s talk about the electrochemical nature of our brain and body. Every time you fire off a thought (electrical) your brain will cause a variety of chemicals to be produced in the body. Happy thoughts cause happy chemicals to be delivered to your body. Think dopamine and oxytocin. Thoughts of impending doom will trigger your sympathetic nervous system to turn on its production of the chemicals of stress, often referred to as adrenaline and cortisol. Be aware that you can have up to 1400 chemical reactions going on in your body at any given moment. We truly are electrochemical by nature.
Here's where it gets interesting. You are in some way addicted to the rush of chemicals coursing through your body. Who wouldn’t want more dopamine or oxytocin? However, when the rush of energy caused by adrenaline flows through our veins, we can, over time, become addicted to the chemicals of stress.
Don’t get me wrong; we need adrenaline and cortisol. As part of the sympathetic nervous system, these chemicals keep us alive. It’s how we can stay clear of the saber-toothed tiger that’s chasing us. But, when the saber-toothed tiger is our significant other, our boss, or a co-worker, it is maladaptive to turn on the chemical stress response.
So, why do we do this and get whacked out by our environment or circumstances. Mostly because we are addicted to the chemicals of stress. So, get this, like a junkie is addicted to [fill in the blank] you can become addicted to the chemicals of stress and a life you don’t even want.
Now, back to your state of being. You learned that your state of being is defined by how you think, how you act, and how you feel. If you want to change your state of being, you will need to do what? That’s right, you will need to have new thoughts, take new actions, and ultimately create new feelings. Sounds simple, right? In theory, it is simple; however often it’s very difficult.
You want to change something in your life. Let’s say you want to eat healthier. To do that, you will have to have a new thought, followed by a new choice about what new actions you could take. Making that new choice is the hardest part of changing. Why is that? For starters, you are going to feel uncomfortable, because of your addiction to the chemicals associated with the old thought. Just like a person addicted to [fill in the blank] has a hard time stopping their addictive behaviors, you will have a hard time letting go of the rush of chemicals associated with your old conditioning. Next, the new thought and action are not familiar to you, while the old thought is very familiar. You will have to step into the unknown. Afterall, you’ve likely been thinking the old thought, or some version of it, for most of your life. The unknown is uncomfortable for most people.
Let’s recap. To change something in your life you will have to change your state of being and your state of being is made of how you think, how you act and how you feel. We next defined the electrochemical nature of a thought, whereas every thought produces a chemical. Highly charged thoughts produce a volatile chemical reaction. Next your state of being and the thoughts associated with it are familiar and known. New thoughts and new actions live in the unknown. It is easy to live your life in the known and uncomfortable to live it in the unknown. So we can say that change is hard.
Let’s reflect on the individual mentioned earlier that is striving to eat healthier. They set a goal, perhaps making a New Year’s Resolution to cease consuming junk food and opt for a healthier diet. They might even decide to become a vegetarian. Initially, they embrace the change for a few days, but then the withdrawal symptoms emerge—the discomfort associated with not experiencing the familiar chemicals linked to poor eating habits. They start craving those familiar chemicals, and the discomfort becomes a significant hurdle. Ultimately, the addiction to the chemicals of their old ways proves overwhelming, prompting a return to their former (and comfortable) eating behaviors.
There is a way forward and you have initiated it by reading this far. It all starts with learning new information. You are doing that right now. You are also becoming self-aware of your thoughts, actions, and feelings. Knowledge is the precursor to experience, and self-awareness is getting to work on your life. I always suggest journaling to drive higher levels of self-awareness.
If you would like to become a master at creating new results in any area of life, register for my next NeuroChangeSolutions’ 'Change Your Mind…Create New Results' Workshop. We begin on Tuesday, February 6th, online via Zoom conferencing. This workshop teaches how to create sustainable change, based on the teachings of Dr. Joe Dispenza. You will learn how to create a new state of being to manifest anything you desire, how to stop your reliance on the chemicals of stress, to become emotionally intelligent, highly engaged, creative, and productive. Click here to take a closer look at the workshop: https://everestperformancecoaching.com/page/create-new-results
The time investment is minimal, yet the results are nothing short of amazing. The 'Change Your Mind…Create New Results' Workshop follows a well-defined process based on the neuroscience of change, enabling you to transform yourself, your team, and your business!
If you would like to comment or have a question reach out to me by phone, text, or email. I am committed to supporting your growth and happiness.

An acknowledgement: I express deep gratitude for the numerous teachers who have been a part of my life's journey. From the educators I actively engaged with to those who silently imparted invaluable lessons, I am truly indebted to all of you for shaping the course of my life. Your impact is immeasurable, and I owe a significant portion of my life's journey to each one of you.


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