Hello, Tom Lipinski here. Many of you know me as a real estate broker. Some of you know me as a life and business coach. And others know me as a change consultant. In this post, I'd like to share a few observations about why people stay the same—and how they can change.
For more than two decades, I have been studying change and transformation and observing what causes some people to change while others remain stuck. I continue to be fascinated by our ability to alter the trajectory of our lives simply by changing how we think, act, and feel. Here are a few key steps of the change process.
The First Step is Wanting to Change
You must want to change. Have you recognized a pattern that has you stuck? Perhaps your most important relationships aren’t going as you’d like. Maybe you’re struggling with your health or well-being. Are you underemployed and wondering what it will take to bring new opportunities your way? Maybe you know how good you are in your profession, but you keep spinning your wheels. Whatever your “why,” there is a way to create lasting change in your life, but the desire to change is your first step.
You must want to change. Have you recognized a pattern that has you stuck? Perhaps your most important relationships aren’t going as you’d like. Maybe you’re struggling with your health or well-being. Are you underemployed and wondering what it will take to bring new opportunities your way? Maybe you know how good you are in your profession, but you keep spinning your wheels. Whatever your “why,” there is a way to create lasting change in your life, but the desire to change is your first step.
Let’s look at emotional challenges that often leave people resigned and cynical about the life they’re living. These challenges have become hardwired and patterned over time. People become conditioned by their past and live on autopilot, habitually moving toward a future they dislike and believe won’t change.
The Next Step is Self-Awareness
After deciding to make a change in your life, the next step is self-awareness. But first, let’s look at how conditioning has a stranglehold on your future.
After deciding to make a change in your life, the next step is self-awareness. But first, let’s look at how conditioning has a stranglehold on your future.
Fold your arms. Notice which arm is on top. Now switch them. Feels uncomfortable, right?
Why? Because your body memorized a pattern. Your body has become the mind. You will fold your arms the same way every time.
The same memorization happens emotionally. Let’s look at some examples.
Example: Criticism or Judgment
For example, when someone questions your competence, you get defensive. This response is stored in your subconscious mind, just as folding your arms is. It is your programmed response to criticism. Your body has become the mind of criticism. Just as you folded your arms by memorizing a pattern, your response to criticism is also memorized.
For example, when someone questions your competence, you get defensive. This response is stored in your subconscious mind, just as folding your arms is. It is your programmed response to criticism. Your body has become the mind of criticism. Just as you folded your arms by memorizing a pattern, your response to criticism is also memorized.
You are living from a memorized emotional program. Not because you chose it today —
but because your body learned it yesterday.
It is an unseen response, and it will keep you from expressing your greatest self. A person who’s averse to criticism will sit on the bench of life because it’s a safe place where you won’t be called on to take the game-winning shot you might miss.
Additionally, a person who, in their estimation, has been criticized or judged and then becomes defensive will often lose important learning opportunities and alienate themselves from colleagues, friends, and family.
Defensiveness is your ego’s means of survival. What’s there to defend? You did your very best given the situation, right? Defending oneself almost always fails. The person being defensive misses out on opportunities and stays stuck. Sometimes it’s an opportunity they wanted but were not considered for. That’s the kind of stuck.
When a person develops long-term, hardwired responses to what they perceive as criticism and/or judgment, they begin comparing themselves to others. The others who are in the game, taking the game-winning shots? Comparison keeps people on the bench for years, often for a lifetime.
Do you struggle with criticism and judgment? Does your way of being invite resignation and cynicism? Perhaps shame has paid you a visit. Do you second-guess your worth? Are you afraid of stepping off the bench and into the game? Has life become boring?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, learning to change your subconscious programming will remove the stranglehold that criticism and judgment have on your life.
Example: Feedback
Another pattern is how people respond to feedback. Feedback can be very helpful in business and relationships, and much can be learned from it. One destructive, hardwired response to feedback is to justify oneself or invalidate others. Either way, the receiver gains nothing, and the giver will be reluctant to give again.
The Solution Step:
In my Change Your Mind…Create New Results course, I teach people how to recognize their conditioning and recondition themselves so they can create new results in their health, relationships, business, and life.
In my Change Your Mind…Create New Results course, I teach people how to recognize their conditioning and recondition themselves so they can create new results in their health, relationships, business, and life.
The Change Your Mind…Create New Results course was created by New York Times Bestselling Author Dr. Joe Dispenza. Dr. Joe is a lecturer, researcher, and corporate consultant who travels the globe, teaching people how to change. He has the world’s largest database of research on the connection between the mind, body, and unlimited results. In 2011, he formed a company, Neuro Change Solutions, to teach his formula to corporate leaders and individuals. In 2023, I became licensed and certified by Dr. Joe to bring his work to companies and individuals. As a Neuro Change Solutions Consultant, I train company leadership and individuals the formula for change.
I will be teaching a small group this coming June 27-29 using Dr. Joe Dispenza's Change Your Mind…Create New Results course.
This isn't a motivational seminar, and it isn't personal development entertainment.
It's a practical, science-based process that helps people understand why they continue to think the same thoughts, make the same choices, experience the same emotions, and create the same results.
You'll learn how your personality—how you think, act, and feel—creates your personal reality. More importantly, you'll learn how to interrupt old patterns and begin creating new ones.
If you've recognized yourself anywhere in this article—if criticism, judgment, defensiveness, comparison, resignation, or cynicism have become familiar companions—then perhaps it's time to stop rehearsing the past and start creating a different future.
The people I work with are often surprised to discover that they are not stuck because of their circumstances. They are stuck because of the unconscious programs driving their thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Once those programs become visible, they can be changed.
The course is limited in size to allow for meaningful interaction and discussion.
If you'd like a course brochure, or if you're curious whether this work could help you create new results in your health, relationships, business, or life, send me a direct message or email me at tom@everest.coach.
Change is possible. Once you become aware of the programs that are running your life, you can begin creating a new future.
0 Comments